“This is life before you know who you’re going to be..”
Wow. 10 years have flown by since my last post. I forgot I even had a blog and while looking back and reading some of my old entries has me cringing at my awkward phase of thinking misspelling words was cute, I am also in complete awe. So much to say, yet I don’t even know where to begin. But I feel like I owe it to a certain 19 year old girl to finish what I started. So here goes. If I had written this post 10 years ago like I was supposed to, I probably would’ve detailed how I dreamt of a charmed and fulfilled life as a wife and a mother. 10 years later, my dream has come to life. Oh, how I wish I could sit with my 19 year old self and just hug her. I’d tell her to brace herself, because the next few years are going to be very hard. I’d tell her that at the end of the very long and dark tunnel, her dreams await her. You will have what you most desire and everything will be ok. But I think like most of us, if we had the chance to go back, I’d want to prepare her the best I can. I’d tell her that she’s stronger than she realizes, all she has to do is stand her ground. God is and always has been in her corner and He’s waiting for the right time to bless her with His best. All she has to do is let go of what she thinks should happen and completely submit to His good and perfect will. All she has to do is trust Him. I’d tell her that God is not withholding anything from her, but is trying to prevent years of pain and damage to her life. I’d urge her to trust Him. I’d tell her that solitude is not a punishment, but a gift. In it she’ll truly get to know herself and heal from past traumas and toxic mindsets. That through that time, she’ll learn how to navigate through her relationships and build stronger and healthier bonds. I’d tell her to seek God with all her heart because that is the one thing she will never regret and it will be time that won’t ever be wasted. Oh, how I wish I could’ve been there for her through the dark days! I would just hold her and assure her that everything is going to be ok. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, you just have be yourself. And no matter what anyone says, you were always enough. Look my darling younger self, you made it.
